


Dark Cloud

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empathy, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 19:44:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: Wanda is no stranger to mental health problems and when your depression gets worse, the fact she can hear your thoughts means it brings her down with it.





	Dark Cloud

It was like a heavy fog had descended on everything.  It weighed her down and made everything harder to do.  It was harder to get out of bed and once she was out it was all she could do to shower and eat.  She felt miserable right to her core and it drained her completely.

Wanda was no stranger to depression.  There had been many moments in her life where it had all seemed too much.  Where the only thing that kept her going was the idea that ending it might be harder still.  Whether it just be because going through puberty was messing with her hormones and there was no specific external reason to feel the way she did.  Or the endless list of pain and loss she had had to suffer.  Being trapped in the rubble of her home for a week with the decaying bodies of her parents.  Being kept in cells, separated from her brother as the people who she thought were the good guys had experimented on her.  The realization that her hate had been focused in the wrong direction.  The loss of Pietro.  The deaths she caused.

She was no stranger to struggles with her mental health.  They plagued her.  They made her act irrationally.  She’d lash out at others and herself.  She knew what depression felt like.

She also knew this wasn’t her depression.  It was yours.

That made it harder in some ways.  She still felt that lethargy.  That feeling that everything was too much and even getting out of bed took most of her energy was still there.  Only on top of that, there was her concern for you.  She knew what she was feeling was only a shadow of what you were.

She felt helpless and selfish.  She wanted so badly to help you but when she was near you, your depression seeped into her affecting everything she did.  She struggled to get out of bed and she ate the simplest junk food she could make.  Sometimes just raw cookie dough straight from the packet which she was morally opposed to the existence of.

When she was with you, it was difficult to take care of herself let alone you too.  Yet when you were apart, either for work or just to actually get some grocery shopping done she felt guilty.  Being away from you meant her thoughts were just hers and when they were just hers, she felt good.  She got things done.  Food tasted better.  Which of course made the difference between how she felt around you pronounced and her guilt for not being able to help you and feeling good away from you felt crushing.

She felt hopeless.  LIke she was the worst girlfriend in the world.

“You should just leave me.”  You mumbled, rolling over and burying your face in her hair.  “I’m bad for you.  Don’t try and tell me otherwise.”

“You aren’t.  I love you.”  She argued, wrapping her arms around you.  You hadn’t even made it out of bed today.  The room really needed to be cleaned and the sheets changed.  She wanted to do it.  She really did.  But even thinking about getting the sheets off and into the laundry was about as much as she could handle.

“People can love each other and be bad for each other.  I’m bad for you.  I’m making you miserable.”   You broke down into tears and she held you, feeling like it was all she could do but break down too.

“It’s not you.  You’re unwell.  It’s like you caught the flu and I caught it.  But it’s okay.  This is a low spot.  You know that.  We just have work and get through it.”

You took a shuddering breath trying to get your tears under control.  “Then go away until I’m better.  I’m dragging you down into this hell with me and I can’t do that to you.”

She pressed her lips to her forehead.  “No.  It’s not up for discussion.  I know this is hard.  You think I haven’t been through it too?  I have.  So many times.  You wouldn’t leave me would you?”

You shook your head and buried your face under her chin.  “I don’t want to keep hurting you though.”

“I know, my love.”  She whispered.

The two of you just lay tangled together as you sobbed, the weight of the depression and your guilt just getting to be too much for you.  She cried too, the tears spilling silently down her cheeks, your pain too much for her to keep in.

“How about we work together?”  She asked.

You pulled back and looked at her.   “What do you mean?”

“You do your therapy, figure out your meds, work at getting better.  I’ll work at blocking it out.  I’ll go out to clear my head every day so that I can be stronger for you.  That we both try and get up and shower every day and go outside and when it’s just too much and there are days we don’t we forgive ourselves and each other.”

When her speech is over you wiped your eyes and sniffed, nodding your head.  “Okay.”

She kissed you softly, aware that this day in bed has meant you hadn’t brushed your teeth either.  She didn’t care though.  She loved you and she needed to show it.

There was a knock at the door and you made a sound halfway between a whimper and whine and a groan.

“Who is showing up unannounced.  Make them go away.”

Wanda untangled herself from you and got up.  “It’s Vision.”

“No.  He can’t see me like this.”

She waved her hand. “He won’t mind.  Trust me.”

She went to the door and Vision smiled warmly at her.  He was dressed in a blue cardigan he had buttoned up over a white shirt and he had a large platter in his hands covered in foils.  “Good evening, Wanda.  The others and I know things have been hard for you both lately.  I was told to come by with this,”  He said holding up the platter.  “Mr. Stark had his chef prepare it.  It’s perfectly nutritionally balanced.”

Wanda giggled and took the platter.  “Thank you, Vis.  That was very thoughtful of everyone.”

“May I inquired to how she is?”

Wanda shrugged.  “Struggling but hanging on.”

“I was doing some research.  I wonder if you might like me to clean a little and take out the trash.  The two of you could take a bath while I do?”

Wanda felt like she was going to cry again, but this time maybe because she was happy.  Wanda did struggle with her mental health.  Depression was an isolating disease that made her push people away.  Yet since she had joined the Avengers there was always someone who recognized it and offered her help.  She wasn’t alone and since you had become part of her life neither were you.

“Thank you so much, Vision.  That would be so wonderful.”

Vision smiled and followed her inside.  He took the platter back off her and went straight to the kitchen and began sorting the recycling.  Wanda returned to your side and you rolled over to face her.  “What did he want?  Is there a mission?”

“No, my love.  He brought food and is going to clean up for us.  He suggested we bathe together while he did.”

You started crying and curled up in her lap.  She could feel the swirling mix of relief and inadequacy coming off you.  It sunk into her and she did her best to hold it back.  “That’s so nice.  Your friends are so nice.”  You sobbed.

“Yes.  I am very lucky to have them.”  She agreed.  “And you.  Come on.  Let’s go take a bath.  Hopefully, when we’re done we’ll have fresh sheets and something nice to eat.”

You pulled yourself up and she followed after.  It was an effort but as the two of you sunk down into the scented hot water, she could feel you relax and a small amount of relief and contentment edge in.  She kissed you and curled up in the tub against you, resting her head on your breasts and listening to your heartbeat.  It wouldn’t be easy but she knew when it passed it would be worth it.


End file.
